Fully awake now. Fully engaged in seething anger that felt like the holding of a devouring animal at the end of a single chain. Boiling anger that senses the interloping of earthy wisdom, that dare believe it knows best for someone else. We do that thing to one another. Quiet evidence that misery is happiest when its a shared experience. That we are nothing if not most thrilled when we believe we know what there is to know of living. And we ‘got it right’ even as our living requires constant resets to achieve what the limited and insane believe will have a different outcome. We are far too comfortable wanting to be GOD for one another.
But I recognize, this is not my primary struggle at this time. I have no problem detecting earthy stench, I am of the earth as well. My struggle involves the desire to decimate the stench that dare approaches me.
But, we wrestle not against flesh and blood.
To be willing to attempt manipulation or destruction of another person is simple guilt that identifies that you want to be god in someone else’ s life as well. So Herculean hands unfurl from their position of might; and calm ushers itself back to the seat of mercy. I am safe now. Our Abba will not permit me to bring destruction into my own world by attempting to wrench authority from Him. As if I could.