Playing with purpose

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

Consumed By Love

I recently mentioned to a friend how grief had found me after my oldest sister, Lina had died. How I stood at my window looking West gazing into the brilliance of a setting sun and begin praying for my sister. As this had been my custom. My sister had the spirit of a true gypsy and often we had no idea where she was or who she was with. But I knew that prayer could find her wherever and so it was my custom to pray for my sister.

But as I prayed that day, a wee small voice said; “she doesn’t need your prayers anymore.” The pain from that certainty was tangible. My sister no longer needed me. But even now I need to be needed.

Today, an obvious truth is clear. Something as powerful as love must be passed on. If it is not passed forward it will lock your heart, mind, and soul in the place where the previous recipient left you behind. Can love imprison us? We are living proof that it can. We visit stones and urns of memorial. Weeping tears over past days. Offering homage to what amounts to prayers over decaying flesh or decimated bone dust. We act as if the physical body somehow connects us to the one we love. It does not.

Assumptions that action born of our love for a person are a betrayal if we act that way with someone new, will hide and cloak the true nature of love. Love is not what we do with people, love is the motivation for why. Not by planning but by its true nature Love will grow and mushroom about you like indestructible yeast. It must be given away to be harnessed and healthy.

Loving is core to humans and from our hearts, it shapes us far more than it will shape others. It’s face is recognizable by the needs of the relationship with another, not the nature of a previous relationship. Loving is beyond the ability to betray.

So, I have appointed a new recipient for my custom of setting sun prayers. I am removing the cobwebs from this act of love and receiving the same soul-satisfying benefit from the effort. Love is ingrained in each of us. Find an outlet for it, find many homes for it to abide within or it will lock you down where you stand.

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