Playing with purpose

Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

Confirming my Affirmation

Something that I continue to learn, and something I must be deliberate to confirm; is the source of my affirmation.

Using social media has emphasized my awareness of how damaging the opinions of others can be for the clarity of my hearing. Google defines trolling; “(to) make a deliberately offensive or provocative online post with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them.” That I find, is a narrow definition. Much too narrow.

When you measure your walk by the number of people who are willing to support you, you clip your own wings. Soon, I can become consumed by saying or doing what brings me that support. The only problem with that practice; it denies GOD the Lordship that belongs only to Him. When affirmation comes from other people it opens me to loneliness, disappointments, betrayals, good feelings and very bad feelings. Isms so pervasive that I forget to breathe. Love for some, hatred for others.

My fellowship with the Lord does not mean without others, but rather despite others. I find solace in a degree of isolation from the ideas or perception of others. This allows me to remain centered and balanced. Keeps me emptied before GOD, always waiting for His Grace to fill every empty place. I want the mind of Christ to dwell fully within me.

I need this. Though I am sure I can survive with less, and perhaps even reach Heaven; I am learning there are things and thoughts that GOD cannot give me when I settle on a more cluttered walk with Him. My willingness to, primarily, seek fellowship with the Lord empowers my walk upon the earth. I’m a better human because that allows to me love without reservation.

It is like the environment I always sought to establish in my childcare home. It did not matter what role a child was forced to play at home, in my house, they all got the opportunity to just be children. With all the freedoms and privileges that came with that role. The success of my intent for them was contingent upon their ability to love me enough to hear my voice, to see my heart for them, and obey. When they resisted or disrespected me; it blocked my ability to be a blessing towards them. Those are the times when I would need to speak with harshness. Employing punishments or a denial of privileges; even enacting the dreaded “time-out!” Rarely, but sometimes I would need to permanently suspend enrollment at my home.

I find its no less true in my relationship with the Lord. My willingness to love Him enough to let him love me throws the sky wide open. My affirmation must come from Him. When you love me, that’s a bonus! But, because I am affirmed in GOD; what people are or are not does not have to impede my ability to love. Wooowheee! What a relief!


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